Hygge
This was one of the first Danish words I learned before coming to Denmark. The person who taught me the word looked at me very earnestly and said “Mark, in Denmark we have this thing called ‘hygge’”. In the most reverend of tones he laid out the concept for me, and like a sorcerer’s apprentice at his master’s feet my mind’s eye swelled with a myriad shimmering impressionist dreams of harmony and contentment in faraway lands.
A "hyggelig" evening
Hygge is a state of comfort, peace and warmth while in the company of loved ones. It represents a great deal of how Danes relate to each other. An agreeable person who exudes good vibes can be described as “hyggelig” (hygge-like). A place can be hyggelig. After a night out with friends, upon meeting again, one would say “Tak for sidst. Det var hyggeligt” (Thanks for the last time. It was hyggeligt). And in the imperative, if you want to wish someone a pleasant time, you can simply say “Hyg dig” (Hyg yourself).
Hygge seems to be more of a nighttime phenomenon. A teenage party in the civic hall, with soft drinks, a spotty DJ playing Aqua and Gypsy Kings, and a battery of white neon tubes glaring down from the ceiling is not hyggeligt. The preferred mode of illumination for creating hygge is the candle. A hyggelig dinner is accompanied by slightly dimmed lightbulbs and two or three candles. If, like me, you develop the idea that the number of candles is directly proportional to the amount of hygge created, you will be sorely mistaken. One night we had guests over, and in my enthusiasm I lit so many candles that my wife had to tell me to tone it down, since we were “not hosting a satanist ritual slaughter”.
In fact, had it been a satanist event, it would have been described as “uhyggeligt” (un-hyggelig). Uhyggelig is not quite the opposite of hyggelig, as with the teenage party; it roughly translates as “creepy”.
However, hygge, as a phenomenon to understand, is as elusive as it is subtle. I am quite sure that if no one had told me about hygge beforehand, I would never have noticed it. I don’t think it is as unique a phenomenon as the Danes make themselves believe it to be. In fact, I think that hygge, as it exists in Denmark, is born out of the cluelessness that most Danes seem to have where hospitality is concerned. I mentioned earlier how awkward Danes get when you show up at their door unannounced, expecting a cup of tea and a quick chat. The only possible way to see your Danish friends is to plan an event weeks in advance, and in my view this time functions as a kind of hygge gestation period. The hygge needs time to warm up and mature, to get used to the idea of its own existence. Far from being the default Danish state of mind, hygge is rather the antithesis of aloofness and reserve, which much more accurately typifies the Danish character.
Hygge, as a word, also exists in Norway. Actually, it originates there. As a concept, I’m sure it exists in all countries where the long and persistent gloom of winter forces the human imagination to come up with any alternative to the slow descent into inevitable melancholia.
But the Danes have chosen to own the idea, to make an active study of it and turn it into an obsession. Many academic papers have been written on the subject, it is often the subject of lively social debate, and most Danes’ eyes seem to brighten at the mere mention of the word. If you run out of things to say at a party, ask a Dane to explain hygge to you. Not only will you learn a few things; you will also earn a few extra points for showing such interest in their most quintessential social commodity.
In Korea everyone asked me whether my country also had four distinct seasons, as they seemed to believe that their country was unique in this respect. The Chileans were always going on about how imaginative and funny their slang was, and could talk about it all day. South Africans like to ruminate endlessly about their own brand of hospitality and understanding of cultural diversity — again, as if they are the world masters in these matters. For the Danes, all the world needs is a couple of candles (not too many) and a good dose of lukewarm, two-week-old, ready-to-consume Danish hygge.
Mark,
Thanks for your summary of the Danish cultural phenomenon of “Hygge”.
I lived in Denmark for over eight years. I was fully embedded in their world…i.e. I was married to a Dane, worked for the Danish military as a civilian instructor, spoke Danish with everyone there with the exception of my husband and a few English speaking friends. I feel that during those years I was very familiar with the culture and their concept of “Hygge”. But still…the closest word I could ever use to describe the concept of “Hugge” to my American or European friends was to refer to it as making everything cozy”, but the word always seemed to fall short.
You made me smile with your description of the Danes own view of the concept of “Hygge” and their own belief that they are the only culture and nationality who have this type of social gathering and/or experience. However, in their defense the experience is unique to them or at least for them…and therefore it is very special and viewed as such.
I do agree with you that other cultures share in this type of social activity and many even to the same degree/intensity. But then again I have to argue that these other cultures may just not hold their form of “Hygge” so close to their hearts as the Danes do! : )
Thank you again for your description and review…I quite enjoyed reading what you had to say on the topic.
– Jules
Interesting that Hygge almost always involves lit candles. Like the way you described it Mark. Maybe it’s just a way of going back to the roots of the culture. In Sweden it’s called “Mys” which pretty much means the same. So “Hygge” as a concept in not in anyway unique to Denmark. In Sweden they have something called “Fredags Mys”, which I think is a concept created by some entrepreneurial person. It basically having dinner and then after dinner light some candles while you curl up in front of the TV and eat crisps. I don’t really have a point with this. I am just guessing it’s the cold world countries’ way of dealing with the 6-8 months where you can’t be outside and do things
Quite a funny read for a dane